


statues of saints in somebody else's religion

by AGirlByAnyOtherName



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex doesn't know how to feel about his father's death, And Michael's just the person he needs to talk about it with, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Heartfelt Conversations, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25067635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGirlByAnyOtherName/pseuds/AGirlByAnyOtherName
Summary: It had been two months since his father’s death and all Alex wanted was just one day where he didn’t have to think about him, but somehow it had been quite hard to block the man from his memory once the town so graciously erected a statue of his likeness.
Relationships: Michael Guerin & Alex Manes
Comments: 17
Kudos: 65





	statues of saints in somebody else's religion

**Author's Note:**

> “Did you hear about that veteran who died at the carnival? They’re gonna have a parade, build a statue.” - Javier to Liz, Season 2 Episode 13.
> 
> Title from Chuck Palahniuk quote.

It had been two months since his father’s death and all Alex wanted was just _one_ day where he didn’t have to think about him, but somehow it had been quite hard to block the man from his memory once the town so graciously erected a statue of his likeness.

It stood tall and proud in the park across the street from the Crashdown Cafe, the dignified military uniform and harsh lines of his face forever carved into the stone. It even had it’s own little plaque to ensure that the world knew of Master Sergeant Jesse Manes’ noble sacrifice at the night of the carnival tragedy.

Alex had read the words more times than he cared to admit over the past few months, in fact he had definitely stopped in front of the effigy far more than his father deserved. He didn’t know why he kept being drawn to it but he was starting to think that maybe he would never fully be free of the man.

As he traced his father’s features with his eyes, he felt the presence of someone standing close by. They didn’t say anything for a few moments, but Alex didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.

“You know I could destroy it, if you want? Wouldn’t even have to lift a finger, just _oops_ , looks like the statue fell over.”

“Let’s not have you reveal your powers by breaking the statue of the one person who wanted to out your species in the first place.” Alex said disapprovingly, unable to hide the glint of amusement in his eyes as he glanced over to his right.

Michael couldn’t help the playful smirk that graced his face but it quickly fell as Alex turned back to continue his scrutiny.

“You okay? Just, you’ve been standing here staring at it for like twenty minutes.”

He took a small step closer to Alex, sighing under his breath as he noticed the black marks forming under his eyes. 

Since Jesse’s death, Alex had been thriving. He was happier and lighter and his newly formed relationship with Forrest was doing wonders for his confidence. Even just having his brother around more seemed to lift his spirits, but it was clear that the events of CrashCon, and even the kidnapping prior to that, still affected him sometimes. He’d show up to group lunches at the Crashdown or nights out at the Wild Pony looking like he hadn’t slept properly in days.

And Michael knew that as strong as Alex was, it was going to be tough on him. It had been tough on all of them, but witnessing your own father’s murder - no matter how deserved it was - wasn't something you move past easily.

“They could have put it somewhere better.” Alex replied after a moment, his eyes not leaving the statue. “You know, like the middle of the desert where I don’t have to walk past it almost every day.”

Michael’s huff of laughter did not go unnoticed as Alex cracked a small smile of his own in return.

Their relationship over the years may have been a winding rollercoaster of ups and downs, fast turns and false starts, but little moments like these still made Michael’s heart flutter. How at home it felt to be in each other’s presence and how that warm feeling still bubbled up in his chest every time he got to witness that smile.

It’s why he had been so tempted to obliterate the statue each time he saw it. Anything to help put the smile back on Alex’s face.

“He doesn’t deserve this.” Alex shook his head gently. “He doesn’t deserve having people come and stand in front of it or tourists stopping to read all about the town’s precious ‘fallen hero’.” 

Alex’s brow furrowed as he thought yet again about the type of man that his father was, of all the pain that he had caused, of the legacy that he had left behind. The legacy that even now, Alex still felt connected to, still felt like he had to work hard to fully rid himself of.

“He hurt so many people and no one will ever know. They’ll never know the truth about the homophobic, abusive, malicious asshole they’ve decided to commemorate.”

“I know,” Michael replied gently, saying no more. As infrequently as it happened, he could always tell when Alex needed to unload. He had quickly learnt years ago that it was best to let him get everything off his chest all in one go or he would easily change his mind and bottle it all up again.

“And yet, recently when I walk past it, I miss him. I mean, I don’t miss-, it’s not-, I don’t-” Alex took a slow breath and tried to find the right words, “I don’t know what it is.”

“It’s grief, Alex.” Michael replied easily, almost jumping when Alex whipped his head round to stare in disbelief.

“It’s not-, I’m not-. He wasn’t a good man Guerin.” Alex stated firmly, though it was unclear if he was reminding Michael or himself of that fact.

“Hey, I don’t disagree with you.” Michael held his hands up in mock surrender. “But he was still your dad and even if you’re not grieving the man he was, you’re probably still grieving the man he could have been, whether you realise it or not.”

The crease between Alex’s eyebrows formed again as the confusion filled his face once more. “What are you talking about?”

Michael wanted nothing more than to reach up and gently smooth out the wrinkle and rid Alex of all the uncertainty he was feeling. He’d rid him of all the pain entirely if he could. But nothing was ever that simple. And not even death could stop Jesse Manes from hurting his son.

“He was never a good father to you, but he could have been. Some little part of your brain is clinging onto what _might_ have been, how he _might_ have changed and become the man you’d always hoped he would become.”

“He was never going to change.” Alex muttered bitterly, his eyes boring holes into Jesse’s own.

“No. But that doesn’t stop you from still searching for the good in him, even now.”

Alex couldn’t hold back his self deprecating huff of laughter, “It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s what I love about you.” Michael replied without thinking, only realising what he’d just said as he noticed the blush rapidly making its way up Alex’s cheeks.

He turned his head away as he ran his fingers through his mess of curls, feeling strangely embarrassed all of a sudden. 

As comfortable as they were with each other, it was still hard sometimes to know what their boundaries were. To know how far they were allowed to go with their sweetness and sentimentality considering one of them is in a relationship and the other is trying to give them the space they deserve.

It also felt somewhat exposing, yet oddly defiant to be having this conversation standing in front of Jesse’s statue.

“That’s who you are, Alex.” Michael shrugged with a smile, “I think we both learnt the hard way that that’s not gonna change.”

Alex rolled his eyes but it was clear that he understood how true Michael’s statement was. He didn’t really want to think about the most recent trouble he had gotten into because of his belief in humanity but he couldn’t deny that it was a part of him.

“I thought I’d gotten over it. When he died this huge weight was lifted from me. A weight I didn’t even fully realise was there until it was gone. It felt so good, but now I just feel like he’s haunting me.”

“Look, everything that happened with your father that night was a mess. A big old complicated mess that you - _and_ Gregory - were stuck in the middle of. That man will never deserve the faith that you put in him, but it’s still gonna take you a minute to sort out all your feelings about it.”

Alex looked at him with a wide grin and a disbelieving twinkle in his eye, “When did you get so wise?”

“Oh you haven’t heard? It’s my most recently developed alien power.”

Alex’s eyes crinkled as he laughed and for the first time since stopping at the statue that day he turned his back on it and faced Michael completely.

It was such an innocent sight and if Jesse hadn’t have been intruding in the background, it would have been perfect. The slight breeze that had picked up was gently ruffling his hair and the way the sun hit his skin gave it a golden tone that only seemed to make his smile glow brighter.

It was angelic.

And as selfish as it was, Michael wanted to make the moment last a little while longer.

“Do you wanna maybe grab some lunch at the Crashdown? I’ve probably got some more wisdom rolling around in my brain if you still need it.” Michael gestured with a tilt of his head to the cafe behind them.

“Oh, I can’t,” Alex replied guiltily, brushing away the strands of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes, “I’m meeting Forrest in a bit.”

Michael chose to ignore the pang of jealousy the statement caused, instead giving Alex a gentle smile and an encouraging nod.

“Thank you though, for offering.” Alex continued, his gratitude sincere.

“Anytime. That also goes for my other offer. If you ever want that thing gone, just let me know.”

Alex smiled again, the blush still sitting prettily on his cheeks, “I may take you up on that one day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@pendragonsandbuckleys](https://pendragonsandbuckleys.tumblr.com) 🖤


End file.
